(Not to be confused with REAL terrorists) This is the official home of hijacked customer service calls by the

Touch Tone Terrorists  A.K.A. the Junkyard Willie Prank Call Tapes

 

 

"Like Al-Qaeda but without all the bombs and stuff" 

- Department of Homeland Security

 

 

Now

taking orders!

September 2nd

2008

 

Hijacked Customer Service Calls!

These are actual calls of people calling IN to resolve various customer service issues. These customers have unknowingly dialed up numbers that have been hijacked by RUDE "customer care" misfits like Junkyard Willie, Jim Bob the Handicapped Hillbilly and Blade the Drunken Rocker.  Their business model is simple: The Customer is always WRONG.  Listen as unsuspecting callers get fed up, then scream, yell and raise hell!  It's been said "You can't find good help these days" ...but it was never THIS bad!  WARNING: Don't try this at work or you'll be out of a job!

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Audio file

"Red Neck Repo Man" - Jim Bob the Handicapped Hillbilly hijacks an auto dealership phone line for a little "joy ride"! The callers think that Jim Bob repossessed their car!!!  As heard on Satellite Radio   CD#4
"Hoochie Momma" - This conversation descends to childish name calling as Jim Bob clashes with a customer. Willie attempts to mediate! - Hear this call on the DVD "The Junkyard Willie Movie: Lost In Transit" under the "Special Features" section.   DVD
"Jive Ass Hussy" - YPS call as heard on MTV2's CRANK YANKERS - Willie hijacks the phone and wreaks havoc! This customer is sick and tired of trying to coordinate delivery of a package! As heard on Howard Stern. CD #3 is $9.87     CD#3
I Wanna Cancel - Credit card customer wants to cancel some charges but phone hijacker Junkyard Willie says "NO". Heard on Howard Stern, KQRC, KZZP, and honored in SPIN magazine  CD#4
"Rude Lube"  - Stu Jamison hijacks a famous oil lube business phone number and plays the corrupt mechanic game with a loyal customer.  Heard on Stern, Kid & Rubin, WNCD. CD #2 is $8.97   CD#2
"Should Have Sent it Sooner" - YPS call as heard on CRANK YANKERS : Husband and wife get absolutely infuriated with Junkyard Willie and Jim Bob over a missing package that was supposed to have arrived weeks ago!  Heard on Howard Stern, WNCD, Kid & Rubin Show in Phoenix, etc. CD #3 is $9.87   CD#3
"Mongoloid Moron" - Customer gets called a Mongoloid moron! - Heard on Howard Stern, Kid & Rubin, WNCD. CD #2 is cheap! $8.97   CD#2
"We Get to Drink" - YPS call as heard on CRANK YANKERS: Customer is led to believe that her gold watch was set on fire by a drunken, crackhead employee in the mailroom!  As heard on WNCD, Howard Stern, KYLD Dog House (in SF). CD #2 is $8.97 CD#2

"We Get to Drink" - (Same call as above) Hear the first time Howard Stern aired it!

As seen on Comedy Central's CRANK YANKERS

 
"Red Neck Insurance Rep" - In short order Jim Bob the phony "claims adjuster" freely throws out an auto insurance claim and subsequently causes this customer to blow a fuse! Heard on WNCD, Rock 103 Memphis  CD#4
"City Brake" - Southern Fried argument! - Outbound call. Heard on KQRC, Kid & Rubin, Dwyer & Michaels. CD #1 is $7.98 CD#1
The rest of the story:  Jim Bob and the actual guy from City Brake are reunited on the Johnny Dare radio show - KQRC / Kansas City.  
"Look on Yo Damn Calander" - Junkyard Willie hijacks a bank's phone line. This customer only wants to check on her account balance, but Willie gets rude with her. Heard on Stern. CD #3 is $9.87 CD#3
"Damage Claim" - Junkyard Willie tells a customer "You ought to call yourself shit for brains!"  This line is reminiscent of the movie "Breakdown" with Kurt Russel, only nobody's wife (or package) was abducted in the making of this prank call. CD #3 is $9.87 CD#3
"Save the Drama for Yo Momma" - Jim Bob hijacks an auto insurance claims hotline! Heard on Howard Stern. We sell the least censored version of this CD. CD#4
"Retarded Water Survey From Hell" - Incompetent, illiterate, unqualified telemarketer doing research for the water and power company.  This call is not that far from real life.  Outbound call. CD #2 is $8.97 CD#2
"Pay Yo Damn Bill" - Junkyard Willie hijacks the gas company's customer service line and tells a customer "You're gonna freeze your ASS off" (because he didn't pay his monthly bill on time). Heard on the Regular Guys. CD #3 is $9.87 CD#3
"Angry Janitor" Somebody clogged up the toilet and the building janitor is interrogating office workers. Outbound call Heard on Kid & Rubin. CD #2 is $8.97 CD#2
"Scooter's Transmissions" - City slicker VS barefoot hillbilly! Outbound call Heard on Kid & Rubin. CD #1 is $7.98 CD#1
"Drunk Job Applicant" Blade is a hung over, vomiting prospective employee! Who would want to hire this guy???  Outbound call - Heard on Dave & Carol Show in Milwaukee, Kid & Rubin. CD #1 is $7.98 CD#1
"Ho De Do" - A call from deep in the ghetto to a liquor store! Outbound call as Heard on the Wake Up Crew in Memphis, Kid & Rubin. CD #1 is $7.98 CD#1
"Corrupt Phone Company" - Stu hijacks a phone company's phone number then proceeds to conduct business with reckless abandon! Heard on KQRC, and Stern   CD#4
"You ARE the Trash" - Customer is fed up with Blade's care free, drunken attitude! Heard on KQRC, Steve & DC, WEGR ! CD#4
"Cheap Ass" - How NOT to win over customers: Stu tells a customer to take his business elsewhere!!! Heard on Stern   CD#4
"Shoe Sale" - Jim Bob hijacks a department store's phone line, then infuriates a customer! Heard on Conway & Steckler - "Lower Animal" bit CD#4
"Rent-A-Car" - Jim Bob's hijacks a car rental company's phone line then causes this customer to snap!  What else is new? CD#4
"D.R.U.N.K." - This auto insurance customer doesn't take too kindly to being falsely accused of D.U.I. This call is the Touch-Tone Terrorist's favorite call. CD#4
"Insurance Claim" - Jim Bob throws out yet another insurance claim!  Later "Willie" gets on the phone in PART 2 heard on the Volume 4 CD. As heard on Howard Stern on Sirius radio   CD#4
"Respect for Your Customers" - Willie gets a speech about business etiquette! Heard on Stern CD#4
"Nasty Freak" - Blade is hooked on drugs... not English language teaching tools.   CD#4
Vladimir is the new sports reporter for WNWR 1540 AM giving his unique take on the Mountain West Football Conference, serving BYU students Russian Vodka, the "breakaway state" of Hawaii, etc. Interview dated 11/27/07  
Jim Bob calls up WIP 610 AM Sports Talk to talk about the grammatical errors in Terrell Owen's book. It doesn't take long for the hosts to get tea bagged by Howard Stern's ball $ack!  
Just for fun.... Junkyard Willie does a little rapin' with some Guns 'n Roses (Appetite for Destruction) sound bites underneath. Pimp 'dem ho's, pimp 'em all, Turnin' tricks for the suits at city hall.  
Junkyard Willie does a little Karaoke over Guns 'n Roses Mr. Brownstone (Appetite for Destruction available at Amazon.com)  
Junkyard Willie's pimp song ditty.  

 

 

For a while Touch-Tone Terrorists was #5 on Amazon.com's HOT 100 best sellers

 

Attention Pranksters: Now make your own crank calls to post on YouTube with TTT soundboards

 

Do you get lots of wrong number calls to your home or work?

Do you have a "junk" 800 number that gets lots of wrong number calls? 

Do you know any aspiring rappers?

 Help send a call our way.  Tell us about it!

 

About 10 years ago Junkyard Willie made a funny call to a woman (and her child heard in the background) but we've lost track of her. She had a home phone number that used to belong to a Phoenix area company called "Denis Electric". We are trying to contact her to see if she would like to be paid to be on the next TTT CD release "Customer Care Creeps". If you know anything about who this woman is please email.

 

 

Celebrating 40 years of hubcap sales, service, and poverty!

Black "industrial" short-sleeve work shirts with the 4 3/4" X 2' patch (seen below) sewn over the left pocket.

 

 

COMING to DVD

Sept 2, 2008

the TTT movie ! 

 

Above: Dr. Willie examinizes a patient!

 

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